After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize