it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize