i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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