I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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