You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
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Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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