Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
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i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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