was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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