what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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