I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize