you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize