i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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