I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize