i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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