Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize