u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
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HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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