just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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