Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
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Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
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Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize