tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
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unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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