hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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