Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize