She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize