The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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