nut hugger
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize