Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
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I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
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Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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