do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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