Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
is wine microwaveable?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize