So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
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the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
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Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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