i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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