Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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