At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
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My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
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The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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