Tell her she can't have a vagina
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize