I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
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I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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