he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize