from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
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His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
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So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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