well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
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i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
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Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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