Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize