Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
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I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
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you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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