everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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