my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize