I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
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