ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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