There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize