I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
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My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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