drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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