I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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