Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
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DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
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At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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