Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize