I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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