I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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