I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it's like iHOP with fire
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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